Filed under personal

Curveball

Whereas I was lamenting about how weird 2014 was, and generally not great for me personally,  2015 has turned into a major curveball so far. I may have spent quite a few days moaning and whinging about my displeasure of my current gig, I have noticed a quiet resolve within me growing. Guess it has … Continue reading

Shock and awe

No, it’s definitely not as dramatic as the correct military term, but to be fair, it is as eventful for me to be in complete shock and awe about what’s been going on in 2015 so far. A while ago I did write about going for a job interview at an interior design company, where … Continue reading

Wait. How did that happen?

So about 2 weeks ago I celebrated my 36th birthday. A Tuesday. I ended up taking that day off, simply because I can. The week prior I had a week off, not to go on holiday and visit some exotic place – no, I went back to school for a few days. Sort of try … Continue reading

Broken record

Mea culpa, I haven’t posted anything for so long, but I was starting to sound like a broken record. Tired, bored, bored beyond belief, exhausted, still very much on the job hunt. Honestly reading back a few posts and you pretty much get the gist of things. As I’ve sudden been taken down by a … Continue reading

Alas

Alas it was not meant to be. Unfortunately it did take far too long, and I had to take the initiative to  get the answer in the end. Yada yada, “we both were very impressed with you. And we certainly will keep your contact details.” Yeah, sure. Whatever. But at least I was kind enough … Continue reading

With a twist

The risk of me sounding like a broken record is very present. Still too tired, still suffering from a lack of sleep I try to catch up on the weekends. Still bored to tears most days of the week, still very much looking around for a different job. Still wondering what the hell I want, … Continue reading

Oh dear

“Oh dear.”  pretty much sums it all up. Honestly I don’t really know what to think of this weird discomfort I feel when I’m perusing for jobs. Most are just ordinary office jobs, either temp or fixed contract, and you’d think I should feel a bit more OK about it all. And yet, I can’t … Continue reading

Last of the Mohicans

There are days where I absolutely feel like the last of the Mohicans. Luckily though not like the survivors/protagonists in the movie of said title! As we speak I’m busy looking around for another gig, one that doesn’t require this absurd early rising for one, but also one that can offer a bit more of … Continue reading

Halfway…

March is approaching rather quickly, which means I’m nearly on my halfway point of my 6 months stint. And I know I can’t continue with this for a lot longer, at least not fulltime, it’s making me rather miserable, not to mention bored beyond belief. I have no doubt it would be the perfect job … Continue reading

Down the drain

Being back behind a desk just re-affirms those things I need. The fact at the end of the day I’m just exhausted and don’t want to do anything, is always a telltale sign for me. All of my energy has been sucked dry and the battery desperately needs recharging. In that regard I’m very much … Continue reading

While I wasn’t looking

Well, guess we’re once again nearing the end of yet of 2014. The end of the year is always something that manages to spring up too quickly for me. Honestly, I don’t know what 2014 has given me at this point. Looking back I can see a very weird beginning, a certain vibe that urged … Continue reading

In retrospect

It’s always interesting to see some obvious patterns emerging when one actually pays attention. I’ve been metaphorically speaking so busy with pushing back the direction I was expected/supposed to take I’ve been at a standstill. The pushing back and trying not to lose any ground has lead me to a place of inertia, and I … Continue reading

Upon closer inspection

While I’ve been going about with my creative challenge this year, I often find myself simply making things. Usually well enough et al, but in some I definitely sense something is lacking. That something I can’t really put my finger on, but enough for me to notice and not be content with it. I guess … Continue reading

Persuasion

How does one successfully persuade oneself of his or her capabilities? It has been my stumbling block for as long as I can remember. Rationally I may have ‘seen the light’, but beyond that particular realm I still find myself contradicting myself on nearly every front. Intrinsically I fear I lack the belief I can. … Continue reading

Unspoken words

After another lecture from my mother some weeks ago, I did get to say some of the things that had always bothered me. How she’s always so focused on the negative, and do nothing but complain about all the things I’m not doing or haven’t done. Why would I want to engage in that discussion? … Continue reading